- Read the submission guidelines? Checked for a themed submission call? Pretended to read the Terms & Conditions? Edited your writing so it sings? -

Ready to Submit: hit the button below

& head to our Duosuma page

Submissions

Guidelines

Please do read the guidelines every time you're thinking of submitting. Cap'n Dave is a bear given to fandanglement, who just might change what he's looking for if his rum rations run low or his lunch has given him indigestion.

There is no charge for submitting work but unfortunately we cannot pay you for it either.

What are we looking for?

If what we were looking for was an animal it would be a bottom-feeder ugly bastard fish, with feathers on its fins and a coxcomb. Riding a penny farthing.

Maybe your stuff’s not scary enough to be horror, not enough gags to be humour, not lyrical enough to be literary - but it's definitely not bland: it’s kind of scary, funny, slightly lyrical and just a bit weird.

Who wants that? Where does that belong? Us! We want it!

We want the odds socks that rock. Things that make you go hmmm. The shyly anarchic, the wisdom of fools, the absurd heartbreakers.

There are no genre requirements, and none that are specifically off limits, but science fiction and high fantasy are likely to be a hard sell - due to our personal preferences.

When do we want it?

Submissions are always open.

Occasionally we might ask for something specific (one of us will want that to be pirates).

However, you can always send your latest / favourite/hard-to-place fiction. 100% original, sent by author, previously unpublished and not AI generated, please.

We may not accept it because our tastes are fickle dandelion seeds that float on the breeze (and/or it may not fit the overall feel of the next edition). But we will acknowledge receipt by return, we will read it with care and we will let you know our decision, regardless of outcome.

Simultaneous subbing is fine - we want you to get your words out in the world. Please let us know if your work is accepted elsewhere. We respect the shit out of you, please, please return the favour.

Check for a themed sub call

What don't we want?

No previously published stuff.

No hate speech, no punching down, (punch up by all means, we love that, do it, go on, do it).

We are grown-ups so most topics and genres (or not quite genres, or mixed genres) are fine. We draw the line at cannabalism, no one is getting eaten by another human on our watch. They might get eaten by bears though, if Cap'n Dave is feeling peckish.

Fiction is our first love. But when does the little bit of truthful grit inside your pearl of a story become creative nonfiction? When does your flash become a prose poem? We aren't rejecting those neither one nor t'other pieces out of hand but we are only looking for prose unless we specify otherwise in a themed sub call.

We want stand-alone pieces, not sections of a longer work - and nothing beyond a 1,000 words.

Only get in touch with us about a submission if you haven't heard either way after 30 days. Cap'n Dave is often otherwise engaged so bear with (Geddit? Geddit? It's funny because he's a - oh, never mind).

How do we want it?

Send us anything from 50 - 1,000 words (we won't be counting them so this is a ballpark).

You can send us up to four pieces at a time (in one document, please) but do not exceed the 1,000 word total limit.

Wait until you hear from us before you submit again.

Don't send it in pink Comic Sans, but we won't get prescriptive about font size and spacing. If you've selected a particular font or spacing as an artistic choice, please let us know this so we don't make alterations that will change your vision to match our standard formatting.

Include a short (up to 100 word, third person) author bio. If you forget, we'll check with you. If you really don't wanna, cool beans.

Please do give us a content warning for anything triggering. It absolutely won't rule your work out, but we might choose to read it tomorrow if we're having a bad day. Please note, one of us really, really gets squeamish about squirrels and jelly - so in the unlikely event you've written about a marauding trifle squirrel, please content warn the hell out of that baby (this is not a joke, we have a taxidermied bear as our EIC, we are a bit odd).

We ONLY accept submissions through our DUOSUMA page.

Hit the button above when you're ready to submit.

Image: Collage by Anika Carpenter

Issue One : Themed Call

Anchor 1

We reached our limit for Issue One and we are busy fine tuning! Which means you can now submit for Issue 2 and there is no theme. Send us your weird, wonderful words, any genre (easy on the sci-fi), any subject, if it fits our overall vision.

We can't wait to see what you are all about

Sign up for our newsletter to get extra content, information on themed submission requests and more bear than you can handle

Image: Collage by Anika Carpenter

Terms and Conditions

When you submit to Neither Fish Nor Foul you grant us First World Electronic Rights which are Exclusive only until the work is published by Neither Fish Nor Foul, after which time all rights revert to you, the author.

By submitting to Neither Fish Nor Foul you are declaring that the work is your own, and does not infringe upon the properties of any authors or agencies.

We don't accept any work that is AI-generated, by submitting you are declaring there is no AI input in your submission. If we later discover this is not the case, we won't accept any future submissions from you.

We may suggest minor edits to work that we accept for publication. By submitting to Neither Fish Nor Foul you accept this and agree to work with us, whilst you, the writer, retain the final say on all decisions.

Terms and conditions