Issue Three: Resistance Isn’t Futile
February 2025
Rat Race
Jane Salmons
We, the rats, scurry from the dark, drafty cellar to ransack the pantry. We gorge on a truckle of Stinking Bishop cheese, slurp our grey tongues through the velvety tiramisu in the cut glass bowl, guzzle a flagon of absinthe. ‘Down in one! Down in one!’ we chant, our quivering whiskers stained emerald green.
‘You Are The Solution, Not The Problem’ - original artwork by Jude Potts
Eyes blazing, we steal into the nursery. ‘Let’s play Master and Servant!’ we shout. A roll of the dice decides who rides atop the spotted dog on wheels. Footman and groom push and heave. ‘Faster, faster!’ we scream. We whirl at breakneck speed across a dazzling checkered floor. ‘Faster, faster!’ Wallpaper clowns turn topsy-turvy, bow-tied giraffes collide with top-hatted zebras. We collapse in a tangle of fur and claws, belly laugh until our tails whir.
When the grandfather clock chimes midnight, we go berserk in the ballroom. We crash across the pianoforte’s ivory keys shrieking Beethoven’s Fifth, ‘D, d, d, der!’
We thunder through the library, bellowing Baudelaire and Byron. We run amok in the conservatory, wreak havoc in the parlour. In Mistress’s boudoir, we paint our lips scarlet, douse ourselves with musky scent, dress up in silk scarves, mink stoles, say, ‘darling, you look divine in fuchsia pink.’
When dawn breaks, we scuttle down the spiral stairs to the scullery. Take turns to gently lather and scrub each other’s hairy backs. ‘Foot massage?’ we ask.
A trundle of wheels. Whip crack. Hooves on gravel. We slink back to our dingy hole. Eyes burnt umber.
About the author
Jane Salmons
Jane Salmons lives in Shropshire, UK. She has a poetry pamphlet ‘The Bridge’ (Offa’s Press, 2024) and poetry collection ‘The Quiet Spy’ (Pindrop Press, 2022). Her poems and stories have appeared in various journals, including Salzburg Poetry Review, Ink, Sweat and Tears, MacQueen’s Quinterly, The Ekphrastic Review, The Dribble Drabble Review and Atticus Review. A recipient of Arts Council England funding, her microfiction has been shortlisted for the Bath Flash Fiction Award and nominated for Best Microfiction, Best Small Fictions and Best of the Net. She won the Pokrass Prize at the Flash Fiction Festival in 2022.
Author’s website: https://www.janesalmonspoetry.co.uk