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Issue Three: Resistance Isn’t Futile
February 2025
The Last Cry of the Kittiwake
Stephanie Hirtenstein
Wind whips the cliff, lifting her tail feathers. She shifts position. Beak dips, a stay against rolling, moving carefully over both luminous eggs, short chest feathers brushing shell.
Light quickens long, against wind cold rushing, rain lashing, dull grey sky, like short light but without end. Brief moments of stillness and heat in the early light, ideal fishing weather, spent perching, pinched in against granite, feet on shit. Waiting.
Sky full of white wings and cries of ‘kittee-wa-aaak’, as egg-sitting birds greet their mate returning from deep blue. Call taken up by nearby pairs, spreads throughout colony. Gul pairs shuffle places. In one wingspread before take-off, two shimmering eggs glint in shot of bright.
Waiting for him to return, dozing, scanning sky full of wings beating in wind. Stomach empty.
Several nest ledges over, two speckled eggs set within mud and seaweed lay bared, both egg-parents out foraging sandeels.
Glint of golden beak, flashes of crisp grey and black amongst white feathers, his wings beat in usual long stroke. He pulls his wings back, gripping mud with his talons, lands. He leans in, nuzzling his malar to hers, she reciprocates. Stomach grumbling, she steps off nest, flapping hard into head wind. Others leave, together flight, open ocean.
Wings stretch, beat hard down into gusts. Extending wing blades, tension releases, legs light pulled in, a rush of joy.
Ocean surface is frothy, spitting back at driving wind. A sliver of silver, she plunges, stabs into empty, silver slips deep. Wings push against water, she rises, flying over ruffling surface. Larger guls high dive, glinting silvers dangle from beaks when they surface. They catch sandeels out of her reach. Light dips beneath ocean, she settles on surface.
‘For The Birds’ - original artwork by Jude Potts
Sky brightens, ocean calm. Guls shriek to one another. Shoals moving north. No heat in long light. Sandeels leaving. Guls follow. Deep blue-life-longing depth. The blue of emptiness.
Egg-parents beside her lift up, wings beat north, ocean ripples. Floating on greasy opulence, she stabs at bobbing larvae, small crustaceans, molluscs, slip slide down gullet, low fat rewards. Familiar ‘kittee-waak’ cuts the cacophony, he lands beside her, a quick greeting peck.
The eggs!
She wings her way back to the cliff, many nests bare eggs to light. She lands. Tops of shells slightly warm, she smothers them with downy chest. The bird beside her lifts away, leaving one egg. She beaks her wing feathers tidy, leans forward, gently rotating both eggs. Waiting for him.
Throughout following light, birds lift off their nests. Cries fade. Eerie quiet engulfs the cliff. Stomach empty, she stays. Eggs to hatch. Eggs in empty nests, all along the cliff, catch in the fading light. Ocean deep blue-life-less in long light. Sandeels follow green north. No birds return. Dark grows long.
New bright, one other egg-parent nest-sits. Light draws on, they shake their feathers, lift away, wings beat lethargically, heading north.
Her eyes close, dreams dip dive into flickering silver shoals.
She wakes, shaking with hunger. Feathers chilled to core. Shits out green bile. No energy to stretch her wings, egg shells cold.
Still she stays, last bird of the dying colony. Wind and waves slur last rites.
Cliff face, festooned in shit splattered mud and seaweed piled nesting ledges, holding high, abandoned clutches of eggs.
Rinsey Cliffs, 2014.
Afterword:
Rising sea surface temperature due to climate change is causing plankton to move north and sandeels, kittiwakes’ main food source during breeding, to follow. Kittiwakes at colonies around the South West are starving, with high proportions of nesting sites abandoned (Macdonald et al., 2015; McMurdo-Hamilton, 2022; Johnston et al., 2021; Pearce-Higgins, 2021). Cornwall’s kittiwake population is on the brink of disappearing (Grantham, 2016; JNCC, 2020; Goodall, 2020).
About the author
Stephanie Hirtenstein
Stephanie Hirtenstein is a writer, researcher and parent carer based in Cornwall, England. She is a Creative Writing PhD student at the University of Exeter, her critical research explores the intersection between neurodiversity and biodiversity. Stephanie has been published in Riptide, Mor Media, Dialect, The Great Margin and The Listener. Stephanie was longlisted for the Nan Shepard Prize 2023.
This is Stephanie’s cat, not Stephanie. But what a cat!